Why do I fear progress!?!

Okay, so that title is no joke. Its actually frustrating the hell out of me! Half guard has me almost mentally paralyzed lately. Its not the "I don't know what to do from there" problem. Coach, my classmates, and close training partners work with me all the time. The problem I think I'm facing is the timing in my brain! I'm am literally scared blank when it comes time to transition. By the time I realize what I "should have done" its to damn late and I'm being mauled by friends. Last month it was that I was trying to force my way into half guard, this month the problem is I'm to damned scarred to transition when the timing is perfect for me! Makes you want to bang your head against the wall some times :)

But, in the end isn't it about learning this stuff first hand anyway? If we don't have these "lesson's in frustration" then I don't think we are really trying to push ourselves. Yes, I'm pissed at myself when the fight is over. Yes, I replay my rolls a million times in my head throughout the night when I'm at home. YES, I get very frustrated at what I think is a lack of progress on my part. But.....then I have to remind myself that these are just the trappings of an ego and its actually pretty awesome to get mauled by Dev on the mat because he wants exactly wants I want - one more nugget to squirrel away in our brains :)

So, in the end the day is still good, life is still good....and we have a brand new BJJ blue belt in our house. Chelle received here promotion from Coach tonight and I couldn't be more proud of here. She has come a LONG way since she first started training with me in ND. Life is good...

Chelle and Coach after her promotion tonight.